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Tuesday, January 20, 2004
867-5309 jenny jenny who can i turn to..

Alright.  Today's scoop is:  Work from 8-330, no breaks or lunch... went to switzers office b/c of the sore throat, which i can't afford to have right now(work, school, etc) got antibiotics for that... hopefully i will fight that off before it fully develops...then i inquire about my ankle... i showed it to her... YIKES i get... a yikes from a physician, the highest professional standard to boot.  as i was saying... after the YIKES, she says, yeah that's still swollen... sounsd like you had a horrible sprain.. you should get an xray... go to an orthopedic dr... i can't issue you one or i would... (ins. won't pay, cheap POS HMO rick bought) so she figures i either have a fracture or a ligament torn or something b/c its still swollen and shit.  figures i need a FUCKING CAST... let's just go ahead and add that to the richter scale.

1.  teeth.. which are still not right (need a new crown, a filling and my wisdom teeth out asap)
2.  ankle
3.  bills
4.  school
5.  work

of course these are not in order, but i do what i can

soon i will have a peg leg, no teeth, fried hair, no education, no job... i will resemble my family from East Tennessee to the fullest... ya hurd

so right now im feeilng like, WHY... WHY do I keep bothering... " you can get through this and blah blah"  yes, i know i am fully aware that i am capable of overcoming my obstacles... but what the fuck for.  there is no purpose... i overcome what I have right now, only to have more shit dealt to me... that's what it seems like... i mean, how in the bloody hell am i supposed to be positive when its just one shit storm after another. 

i can't find the right anti-depressant for the life of me.  every one i try doesn't seem to work and they are all... don't drink... YEAH RIGHT how can I NOT want to get fucked up when its one thing after another... not to mention the emotional rollercoaster i go on day in and day out w/ cheech. 

sleep now write later

Posted at 11:27 pm by Magdalena
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Sunday, January 18, 2004
entré numero uno

impulse III©

Today I used the Impulse III.  It is the ultimate vibrating cock ring.  Can be used alone or with partner. 
Partner is unavail, thus my lone ranger venture.  Darf.
Who is slightly and remotely interested in the complexitity of human emotions?

Briefly, I am wretched, bitter, alone, angry, sardonic, cynical and the most twisted sarcastic bitch this side of the Mississip.

now tis time for me to brief. 
circa de 1999

This is Red Rocket Fire signing off.  Over and out.  That's a big 10-4 little lady.

Posted at 05:36 pm by Magdalena
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